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“Preparing for Burial By Rabbi Andy Bachman
01/06/09
The Torah teaches us that when Abraham's wife Sarah died, first Abraham made arrangements for his beloved's burial, and then he sat down to eulogize her and mourn her. The Rabbis tell us that Abraham's actions were in this order so that he could first concern himself with the actions of utmost importance'respectfully laying to rest his wife and then attending to his own emotional needs. Judaism charac'teristically places a spiritual emphasis on serving others and goes so far as to say that some of the greatest command'ments we can perform are those which we perform for the deceased, since they are no longer present to thank us.
Making arrangements for the burial of a loved one is never easy. Our hearts are broken at such moments and it seems counter-intuitive to busy ourselves with mundane tasks in the face of such emotional devastation. And yet, mourners often reflect on the reality that in those early hours after news of a death, they appreciate the opportunity to deal with certain matters of burial arrangements as they prepare to greet the community, hold a funeral service, and accompany the dead to the cemetery for burial.
So essential are these actions that during the last great wave of Jewish immigration to the U.S., our ancestors established Burial Societies to ensure that newly formed communities could take care of these basic services for a new population. Any trip to Jewish cemeteries in New York or other large Jewish centers from Chicago to Los Angeles (as well as smaller communities like Milwaukee or Austin) will reveal sections in each that were established by specific congregations and Burial Societies. For a lover of history, it makes for a fascinating experience to see how geographically diverse and unique our community is.
Over the past fifty years, the Jewish burial business has changed radically and very few funeral homes are family-run. Even places like Boulevard Riverside Chapels, which for years was the Jewish funeral home in New York City, is no longer a family-owned business but in fact is a subsidiary of a large corporation in Texas Service Corporation International which trades on the NY Stock Exchange and is, according to its website, North Americas largest single provider of funeral, cremation and cemetery services. Now bigger isnt necessarily worseits just that in the case of SCI, its more expensive.
More than a decade ago, several leaders in the New York Jewish community decided to establish a non-profit, community-owned funeral home called Plaza Jewish Community Chapel. Located in Manhattan at 91st and Amsterdam, Plaza offers the exact same funeral services but at a significantly lower price and with the added dimension of being owned by the Jewish community. I recently joined their Board of Directors, along with several other rabbis from the Metropolitan area, and exclusively re-commend their services to CBE members when they call in their hour of need.
Plaza was founded in 2001 with financial support from UJA-Federation of New York, the Jewish Communal Fund and eight philanthropists who gave Plaza seven-year interest-free notes, which were paid back in six years. Plaza is owned and operated by the Jewish community and its Board consists of rabbis (Reform, Conservative, Orthodox and Reconstructionist) and CEOs/ Executive Directors of major social service organizations as well as lay leaders of synagogues throughout the New York area. In addition to the eight bereavement conferences they have presented, Plaza is now offering programs for parents of nursery school/religious school students called When a Grandparent Dies and also a program called Getting Your House in Order for senior/adult members of area congregations. Plaza is also starting to co-sponsor conferences and services with the Jewish Board of Family and Childrens Services and the Health Care Chaplaincy of New York.
In addition, Plaza and its Board regularly engage in learning and educational opportunities with the New York area rabbinical schools, training the next generation of Reform, Conservative and Orthodox rabbis in the skills necessary for arranging and conducting Jewish burial. Plaza Jewish Community Chapels commitment to serving our community is extraordinary and I am proud to be affiliated with them.
So, beginning in the January-February Bulletin, you will see an ad from Plaza Jewish Community Chapel. Please know that this is the preferred choice you make when that inevitable moment arrives. It seems to me that one shouldnt be profiting from death; rather, we should be focused on our obligations to those we love and then our obligations to ourselves, our mourning, and repairing our torn hearts. The notion of the Jewish community being there for you at your darkest hour is, I hope, part of the comfort that we seek.
When we leave the cemetery at the end of a funeral, it is customary to say the words, May God comfort you, just as the mourners who sat at the Gates of Zion and Jerusalem found comfort in days of old.
May the chain of memory and community never be broken. Amen.
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